Take your thoughts out of automatic mode to create the results you want.
One of the most powerful and life-changing concepts I have learned is the power of choice. We cannot control the events and circumstances of our lives, but we always have the power to choose how we react to them. It may seem obvious, but then why do we so often fall victim to our own emotional turmoil.
In my last post, I wrote about the emotional pain that we inflict on ourselves and how we can take steps to reduce it. I’d like to go a step beyond that and suggest that when something goes wrong in our lives, we take time to choose how we react. I’m willing to bet that in doing so, we realize that nothing has actually gone wrong at all.
Our brains are fast little processors. They react so quickly to stimuli that we often don’t realize we even have a say in our reaction- but we do. I’m not saying we can stop automatic reactions, but what we can do is bring awareness to them, question them, and then choose a better reaction.
An example of the power of choice
I’m scrolling through instagram and see a guy that goes to my gym posted a gym selfie and he’s looking really good. We have approximately the same body type but over the last few months he’s really stepped up and has undergone a physical transformation. He’s obviously proud of his results and is showing the world his achievements. My automatic thought reaction may sound something like this:
- He must be using illegal substances, that’s going to negatively impact his body in the long run
- Must be nice to be able to afford a personal trainer and have time to do cross fit too
- It’s not fair that he’s achieved his goals so quickly and I am stagnating. I’m not even going to bother with the gym tonight and just order four large pizzas instead
These are all low vibration reactions that say more about my own fear and insecurity than about his hard work and accomplishments. Funny enough, they end up having a negative effect on me, not him, because I’ve now created feelings of envy and jealousy that I carry with me.
The power of choice
OR I can react like this:
- He must have made some significant changes to his diet and training regimen. I should DM him to see if he can share some tips.
- That trainer he’s working with must be really good. If my fitness goals are that important to me, I should consider investing in a coach or changing up my routine to help get me there
- This is what happens with hard work and dedication; one day that could be me.
This set of thoughts leaves me feeling inspired and gets me into solution-oriented mode, rather than the powerlessness of victim mode. I have the choice to react in a way that will leave me feeling discouraged by his success or inspired from it. My automatic thoughts may be shady and resentful at first, but there is another path should I choose to take it.
Change takes time
It takes time to undo years of brain conditioning so don’t be hard on yourself when your automatic thoughts are negative and judgmental. The first step is awareness. Once you’re aware that they don’t serve you and that you have a say in the matter, you can choose different thoughts that will not only make you feel better about yourself, but will also inspire you to take the action that will get you the results you want.
